Drunk Reviewing Spider-Man's "Far From Home" and Euphoria's "Bonnie and Clyde"

So I'm not drunk drunk. But I'm tipsy enough to launch into a tirade about all things Zendaya, our queen of the universe who deserves all the love and praise the Queen of England receives. Also, spoilers ahead. If you haven't seen Far From Home or "Bonnie and Clyde," episode five of Euphoria — read another post on my blog ;)

I watched Far From Home earlier today, while sipping two Rosé ciders — so not enough to get tipsy too quickly, but after a weekend of pure drinking, I got tipsy. I've seen many of the interviews done for this press junket, and it warms my heart how much chemistry that Tom, Zendaya, and Jacob have. They truly enjoy working together and it shows. It shows what incredible actors they are that they can transform into these wonderfully weird and awkward characters, while being incredible and adorable humans behind the screen.

Look at these cute humans!!!!!

Pictures stolen from Stan Twitter.

I think Far From Home did an incredible job of portraying an emotionally distraught sixteen year old. Tom Holland is the perfect Peter Parker for the Marvel Cinematic Universe because he comes across as youthful and engaging. I have not seen the Toby Maguire films (please don't hate me, I will one day!!!!!) but I fell in love with Andrew Garfield's portrayal of Spider-Man, simply for his chemistry with Emma Stone alone. But with Tom Holland's Peter Parker, I felt the panic he felt when all of those reporters were asking him who the next Iron-Man was going to be/if he was going to be able to step up to the task.

In this sequel, Spider-Man/Peter Parker is a sixteen year old kid who just wants to go on vacation and tell the girl he likes how he feels about her. He doesn't want to be Iron-Man's successor right now, or answer any of Nick Fury's phone calls. Why should he? He helped save the world and had to watch his beloved mentor die in front of him. That's enough to make me want to keep the suit in the closet for two weeks.

And while I think the emotional impact of Far From Home hits perfectly, I feel that there are many action scenes that don't quite leave the same resonance. One scene in particular that stands out to me is when Peter Parker accidentally calls a drone attack on a high school rival who is also trying to get with MJ. While I understand the significance of the scene — a sixteen year old is not ready to handle the responsibilities that Iron-Man/Tony Stark left behind for him — I felt that it wasn't driving the plot forward. I did laugh. I understood the comedic relevance of the scene. I just felt that it didn't do much for me, from a student studying screenwriting's perspective.

The scene where Happy is stitching up Peter in the private jet — but mind you, doesn't even finish — and then all of a sudden, Peter is crafting his new suit, also feels a bit slow. As Happy mentions, they're hovering over a tulip field for 15-20 minutes. That's 15-20 minutes of Mysterio attacking Peter's friends!!! Why are they not moving!!!! Why are Peter's wounds suddenly stitched up and okay?!?!!

I forgive this, because this scene before it (between Peter and Mysterio) is strong and powerful on Tom Holland's end. We don't see his face, but we feel his anguish at being manipulated and essentially tortured by a man we trusted to be a hero. What is real anymore? Peter's reality is hitting him over and over, and he can't get a grip on it. I love how that scene is cinematically shot, because my heart broke for the poor kid just trying to have an awesome summer trip with his classmates — but being forced to save the world. I also think that it was important that we saw Tom Holland stripping in not one, but two scenes. God BLESS.

What I'm having a bit of trouble forgiving, is how easily MJ found him after Spider-Man called off all the drones. As someone who adores Tom Holland and Zendaya, I loved that cute and awkward moment between them!!!!!! But HOW the HELL did she run to him so quickly! AND THAT MID-CREDITS SCENE?! Mysterio, you trifling ass little hoe! You full-on dead and still trying to get your fifteen minutes of fame, listen thank you NEXT.

I cannot wait to see this movie a second time and give a deeper, more comprehensive review of all the action and emotion that Jon Watts managed to pack into this box-office hit. Until then, I will be watching the press tour interviews over and over, trying to figure out what's cuter than Tom, Zendaya, and Jacob playing with a bunch of puppies.

And onto the next, Euphoria! My dear drug of choice, that manages to always stress me out while tugging on my heart strings. Last week, I reviewed Rue and Jules' relationship at that point and how we should probably be concerned about them. And I think I was right to give us all a warning.

This episode was aptly titled, "Bonnie and Clyde," and the heart of it focused on Maddy and Nate's abusive and toxic relationship. Who else is waiting for Nate to be LOCKED UP? As you can see from the screenshots below with my friends, I want Nate capital D E A D.

But I also noticed the rather off dynamic between Rue and Jules in this episode. While they both ended up getting "RULES" tattooed on their lip, Jules seems to be feeling overwhelmed with her friendship with Rue. Everyone notices how she's been a great influence on Rue — but no one's noticing how this has been affecting Jules. For a sixteen year old to be told that they're the driving force behind someone's sobriety, that's a lot to deal with.

I liked how Lexi was brought back into this week's episode, and had a fun little outing with Rue and Jules. I'm curious to know her back-story! I still firmly believe that something more happened between her and Rue, more than the French kiss lesson they both had, and I'm interested in knowing how Lexi feels about her now. I wonder if she'll be an obstacle or if she'll be a driving force in Rue's relationship with Jules — which according to Jules, they are not a thing.

A preview for next week's episode!

It reminded me of one of the ending scenes in Far From Home, where Peter confronts Happy and May about their relationship and what they are. May, like Jules, is like "no we're not dating, we're just taking this slow and seeing where it's going" while Happy, like Rue, is more like "Yeah of course we're dating, I'm in Love™️"

I think that Rue is hyper-fixating on Jules, and it breaks my heart because the only one who realizes this is Ali. Ali is trying to get her to see the reality of the situation, that one day Jules will tell her that she just wants to be friends, and "nothing lasts forever in high school." While I want nothing more than for Jules and Rue to end up together living in New York City — I have a sad feeling that it's not going to happen so easily or without a lot of turmoil, because as some of you may know, Euphoria's been renewed for a season 2!

More pain. More drugs. More sex. More penises. Let's all just start crying together now.

Hopefully you enjoyed this drunk review, and furthermore enjoyed Far From Home and tonight's latest episode of Euphoria. Sign up for Wix.Com blogs so we can chat in the comments below about what you all thought x