Let's Talk About Euphoria ... And The Elephant in The Room (Regarding Race)

This most recent episode of Euphoria, the hit HBO show produced by Drake and starring Zendaya, broke my heart with an incredibly authentic representation of what it is like to experience a manic and depressive episode. Although this episode focuses on Cassie's struggles with growing into her body and being sexualized by even her own family members (a moment that can hit home for a lot of young women) and her broken relationship with her father and her unexpected pregnancy, it feels very Rue-centric for many reasons.

Rue becomes a detective! She thinks she's finally put the pieces together of whatever happened between Jules and Nate from the last Halloween episode, and has to come to the conclusion that Nate was cat-fishing Jules. Hilarious memes have sprung up all over the internet of Rue trying to explain her theories to Lexi (who is very much in love with Rue, thank you).

Rue doesn't pee for an entire weekend and nearly burst her kidneys! The episode is aptly titled, "The Trials and Tribulations of Trying to Pee While Depressed," since Rue refuses to leave her room where she'd been watching Love Island all weekend. Rue explains to the viewers that one of the reasons she refuses to leave her room is because the last time she did, things hadn't ended well.

For starters, she met Mama's new boyfriend: a white man who pokes fun at her new friendship with Jules. Perhaps it's because Rue has already begun the descent into depression that she snaps at him, in front of her Black mother: "Go fuck yourself."

This blog post isn't exactly a recap of the entire episode, but mainly that moment and a few other tweets I've seen since. Now, this show has been adapted, created, and written by a white man named Sam Levinson, regarding his own experience with addiction as a teenager. So for a white man to portray his experiences through the lens of a mixed-race young woman, it's safe to say I'm starting to have doubts about the authenticity of this representation.

I would just like it to be known that Zendaya is a queen. Zendaya deserves all the Emmy's for these past few performances that have truly blown audiences out of the water. I'm so proud of how far she's come since her Disney days and think she is truly an incredible star in the making.

But for Rue Bennett to tell her Black mother's new boyfriend, go fuck yourself, and not immediately get slapped? Or get yelled at, like your mother just put the fear of God in you? I have many white friends who curse in front of their white parents. That's one of the things you see in the suburbs, when you go to a predominantly white school. But I've never seen a Black teenager curse like that towards a guest in their home -- mainly because there are repercussions for that kind of behavior.

This felt like it was written by a white television writer, even though it was performed by a diverse trio of actors.

This week also caused some Twitter fans of the series to want Rue to have more Black girl friends. Which is valid -- Rue is essentially the only Black girl in her grade, that we see featured. But the show is clearly set in a predominantly white suburbia, an environment that I know very well. For 12 years, kindergarten to senior year of high school, I went to school in the suburbs. Often times, I was the only girl of color in my classes. In fact, I cannot tell you a time where in a class of over 16 students, where there were more than three students of color in there.

So to me, this is realistic. To me, Rue having a white girl best friend and having a crush on another white girl, this is completely normal. But for Twitter, I can understand why they're calling for more Black girls to be cast in the show's second season.

I understand that desire for more representation and I truly want it too. If another Black character moved into the suburbs (besides McKay), I would be happy for that. But I'm also not holding my breath. The suburb that Rue, Jules, Kat, Maddy, Lexi, Cassie, Fez, Nate, McKay, Ethan, and co are all living in is predominantly white. For young kids of color who went to school in the suburbs, this is our reality. This is the environment we are exposed to, and then called "Oreos" or told that we act "too white," when we go back home to our families.

But this is also a privileged standpoint/perspective I'm coming from. I was fortunate enough to be selected (at three years old) to be in a program that took kids from the city and placed them in schools in the suburbs for better educational opportunities. For most of the years of my life, I hated the town I went to school in. I never once referred to it with admiration or gratification when telling people where I went to high school. Meanwhile, I could have had worse.

I will say, however, that my experience had emotional damage. I constantly never felt like I fit in at school or at home with my family. I still to this day don't know how to act around people, and come off as awkward and shy. So for Rue to be perceived as "acting white," or her family, that hits home for me. This is the life she is exposed to and this is how she acts. In upcoming episodes, I would love to see that represented if Rue has a Black girl friend any time down the line. That's a story that I think will cause heated discussions from all around, but I'm excited to hear what people think.